so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
