so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
