AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
