saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
