she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
