Your tits are I can't wait for
What did we do last night that was yellow?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
