I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
