There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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