It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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