i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
