Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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