Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
