I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
