One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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