..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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