I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
