I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
