I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
