I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
