I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
