help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
