You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
