How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
