If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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