I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
