found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
