addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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