I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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