You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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