C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
