Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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