please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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