so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
