We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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