I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
