DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
