If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Im part way to drunk.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
