Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
