i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
