We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
