my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
