Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
