there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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