When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
