I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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