After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
