oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
