trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
