You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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