Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
