i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
